Exodus: Gods and Kings Review
About a week ago I stated that a negative review, of which I have linked to above, made me want to go see Ridley Scott’s new movie, Exodus: Gods and Kings. The reviewer was trying to slag the film, but instead made it sound so over-the-top that it looked like fun. What follows below is not my own review of the film. Whether or not you like this movie depends on how much you love batshit insanity, actors that chew up the scenery, and ridiculous spectacle. I love all those things in films, so I loved this one. However, if those things aren’t your deal, then you might not like it. Here are ten thoughts while watching Exodus: Gods and Kings:
(I should add that there are some spoilers, but given that most of you know the story of Moses, I don’t think that this will ruin the movie for you.)
1. Unless a planet explodes in a sci-fi movie, there have never been more random human and animal deaths onscreen.
2. God is played as a petulant psychopathic child. If you think of all the smiting he does in the Old Testament, it is kind of fitting!
3. You don’t hire Christian Bale unless at some point he is going to scream with incredible intensity. He delivers, many many times. At least twice for every dollar that I spent. I got my money’s worth. Even when he isn’t screaming, he plays Moses with a quiet intensity that lets you know another insane outburst is coming.
4. I don’t think that a river full of giant crocodiles eating thousands of people is in the Bible, but it sure is an entertaining addition.
5. I know some people were complaining that most of the main characters were cast as white. However, there is really no male in the film that doesn’t resort to senseless bloodshed at some point, not even God, especially not God, so maybe it’s best to sit this one out on the protest front.
6. Do people really believe that this story happened? If so they have lost their minds. This story is about as realistic as Conan the Barbarian.
7. The Hebrews cannot fight the Egyptians face to face because they lack superior numbers. Because of this they resort to attacking the Egyptian people by blowing up their food supply, etc. In a sense the Hebrews are “terrorizing” the Egyptian populace.
8. Moses gets a victory bang at the end when he is reunited with his hot wife.
9. Why would anyone want to worship a god that kills every first born child, including many babies? Even Moses ain’t down with that.
10. Is someone cooking a dog in the background?
Extra credit: The sharks eating a dead horse in the Red Sea after the big action sequence is over was totally unnecessary, and yet totally welcome.
My friends and I were laughing the entire way through this movie, but more with it than at it. I got the sense Ridley Scott, who is a really intelligent guy, knew what he was doing. This movie, as insane as it was, was not without ideas. If you really think about many of the stories in the Old Testament, you can’t deny that they are full of completely insane over-the-top violence. Even if the movie changed certain things, which it most certainly did, it did do a great job of showing that aspect of the Bible. If you want to see a movie that doesn’t neglect Old Testament vengeance, game on!